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Humor #70
Thanks
to Dave Lankford
100 Years Ago
Some
of us may remember some things close to these itemized stats and most of us
realize the amazing changes, which occurred during the 20th Century, but the
contrasts of what was in 1901 as opposed to what is in 2001 are awesome.
Now
that the 21st Century has finally arrived, it might be fun to look back at the
beginning of the last century and see what it was like. Read on!
The
average life expectancy in the United States was 47.
Only
14% of the homes in the United States had a bathtub.
Only
8% of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York
City cost eleven dollars.
There
were only 8,000 cars in the US and 144 miles of paved roads.
The
maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama,
Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than
California.
With
a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the twenty-first most populous
State in the Union.
The
tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The
average wage in the US was twenty-two cents an hour.
The
average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A
competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2500 per
year, a veterinarian between $1500 and $4000 per year and a mechanical engineer
about $5000 per year.
More
than 95% of all births in the United States took place at home.
Ninety
percent of all US physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended
medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government
as "substandard."
Sugar
cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen
cents a pound.
Most
women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for
shampoo.
Canada
passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason,
either as travelers or immigrants.
The
five leading causes of death in the US were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza
2.
Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
The
American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska
hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
Drive-by-shootings
-- in which teenage boys galloped down the street on horses and started randomly
shooting at houses, carriages, or anything else that caught their fancy -- were
an ongoing problem in Denver and other cities in the West.
The
population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was thirty. The remote desert community was
inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families.
Plutonium,
insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet.
Scotch
tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer and iced tea hadn't been invented.
There
was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
One
in ten US adults couldn't read or write.
Only
6% of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana,
heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores.
RED
NECK MED TERMS
Artery......................The
study of paintings.
Benign......................What
you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back
door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What
doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean
Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching
for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made
eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A
sheep dog.
Coma........................A
punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where
Washington is.
Dilate......................To
live long.
Enema.......................Not
a friend.
Fester......................Quicker
than someone else.
Fibula......................A
small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish
person.
G.I.Series..................World
Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................What
you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished,
well known.
Labor
Pain.................Getting hurt at work.
Medical
Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A
higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper
than day rates.
Node........................I
knew it.
Outpatient..................A
person who has fainted.
Pap
Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second
cousin to Elvis.
Post
Operative.............A letter carrier.
Recovery
Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Darn
near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding
something
Seizure.....................Roman
emperor.
Tablet......................A
small table.
Terminal
Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More
than one.
Urine.......................Opposite
of you're out
Varicose....................Near
by