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Humor #59

A Detective Story             (so pay attention)

Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Cubs baseball game.  They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniels into the game.  The game is really exciting and they are enjoying themselves drinking Jack Daniels mixed with soft drinks.

Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniels is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Using the clues given, what inning is the game in and what is the status of the game? 

               Think!

                                   Think some more!!

Answer:  It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded.

AAADD

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been  diagnosed with AAADD (Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder ) This is how it goes...

I decide to do the laundry today. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table.  OK, I'm going to do the laundry...  BUT FIRST I'm going to read  the newspaper.  After that, I notice the  mail on the table.

OK, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle  stack....  BUT FIRST I'll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid.  Yes. Now where is the checkbook?

Oops..  there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm first I'm going to look for that checkbook...

BUT FIRST I need to put  the glass in the sink.  I head for the  kitchen, look out the window,  notice my poor flowers need a  drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter.  What's  it doing here?  I'll just put it  away...

BUT FIRST I need to water those plants.  I head for the door and...OOPPS! stepped on the dog.  Oh darn. The dog needs to  be fed. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the  plants...

BUT FIRST I need to feed the dog...

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the dog ate the remote control ... And, when I try to figure out how come  nothing got done today,  I'm baffled because ..

 I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!  I realize this condition is serious... I'd better get help...

BUT FIRST...I think I'll check  my e-mail

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN..........?

Would You Like to Join......?
The Yoko Club?
Oh no

The German Philosophy Club?
I Kant

The Ford-Nixon Club?
Pardon Me?

The Alzheimer's Club
Forget it

The Ebert Movie Club?
Roger

The Groucho Marx Club?
You bet your life!

The Peter Pan Club?
Never, never

The Japanese Theater Club?
Noh

The Quarterback Club
I'll pass

The Rhett Butler Club?
Frankly, I don't give a damn

The Compulsive Rhymers Club?
Okey-dokey

The Spanish Optometrists Club?
Si

The Pregnancy Club?
Conceivably

The Procrastinator's Club?
Maybe next week.......

The Self Esteem Builders?
They wouldn't accept me anyway

The Agoraphobics Society?
Only if they meet at my house

The Co-Dependence Club?
Can I bring a friend?

The Prayer Group?
Lord willing!