Humor #51

Chinese Proverbs

Man who run in front of car... get tired.

Man who run behind car... get exhausted.

Man who drive like hell... bound to get there.

Man with hand in pocket... feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano; wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who eat many prunes... get good run for money.

War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Man who stand on toilet... is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house... should change clothes in basement.

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Parenting

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from this thought.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the First thing he said was: "Don't".

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve ... we got forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and he was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh, " Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno" Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.  But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be too hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:Take two and keep away from children......